The Image I Reflect: Considering Consent From a Biblical Worldview

四月是性侵犯意识月. 整个月， 沙巴体育第九条办公室 would like to challenge the campus community to examine the ways in which we are sometimes less than loving as we focus on this theme:

“The Image I Reflect: Conversations About Respect, Consent, Power, and Healing”

This theme is meant to challenge us to look in the mirror and consider our beliefs and behaviors, to reflect on the ways that we are tempted to act toward another that could diminish their sexual dignity or objectify them.

This week's focus is on consent — a difficult theme for a place like Cedarville to grapple with.

On other college campuses, consent has become a popular topic. 学院管理员, 性侵犯预防教育者, and students alike have spent a considerable amount of time discussing what consent looks like and how to respond when it's ignored.

但, how can we have a conversation about consent on a college campus that has a standard for maintaining sexual purity? Are we just embracing our culture’s 价值s or accepting a double standard? No!

在讨论同意时, Cedarville is not presupposing or condoning intimate physical activity that is outside the bounds of what the Scriptures teach. Our desire is that each of us chooses to honor Christ with the choices we make about our sexual conduct. We desire Romans 12:9-10 to be true of us: “Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good. 要以弟兄之情彼此相爱. 在显示荣誉上彼此超越.”

在她的文章“赞扬同意*”中，克里斯汀·L. Guidero from Indiana Wesleyan University explains that teaching consent helps address the sexual crises in our culture by helping us better understand what is at stake in sexual behavior, 为了健康的成年生活. It helps us to consider and treat honorably the sexual dignity of ourselves and the future spouse God may give to us. Consent reminds us to care for ourselves and others as image-bearers of a holy God.

让我们从定义开始. 我们所说的同意是什么意思? Cedarville使用了这个定义:

同意是一个知情的决定, 无偿, made through mutually understandable words or actions that indicates a willingness to participate in mutually agreed upon sexual activity.

乍一看, this definition seems to be a “no brainer” — almost everyone will agree that consent is important. 但是在大学校园里, 包括我们自己, there seems to be a gap between this cognitive understanding of consent and how individuals experience consent (or lack of).

So, how do we practice this concept as we seek to honor one another and set expectations and boundaries for how we are treated? 一些开始的想法:

• Consider that the other person is your fellow image bearer whose dignity, 价值, and long-term physical and spiritual health are more important than what you desire in a moment.
• Consent is vital for any progression of physical intimacy.
• Godly relationships are built on honest communication and mutual respect. Ask, and listen for, a clear and positive agreement prior to moving things forward. 不要仅仅根据肢体语言做出假设, 或者一个人保持沉默, 或者你自己以前的经历.
• Geography does not equal consent: Someone choosing to be in a room or space alone with you does NOT imply consent for sexual activity.
• 尊重和尊重彼此. Pay attention to the cues someone gives you that could be communicating their discomfort with a situation: Is the person pulling away, 冻结, 他们看起来不舒服吗?, 或者他们不以任何方式回应? These cues are the nonverbal equivalent of a “no,” and they are a signal to stop. 如果某人的肢体语言模棱两可, 或者如果你不太确定它在说什么, don’t assume it’s saying what you want it to be saying!
• 强迫总是等于不同意. Coercion is using unreasonable pressure to compel another to engage in sexual activity against their will. When someone makes clear that they do not want to engage in certain sexual activity, 他们想要停止, or that they do not want to go past a certain point of sexual interaction, continued pressure beyond that point is coercive and selfish.
• Alcohol and other substances greatly increase the risk that consent will be violated.
• Receiving consent does not mean that a behavior is biblical or appropriate. 我们呼吁我们的社区达到更高的标准.

Getting consent for any type of physical intimacy is the responsibility of the person initiating the intimacy, but we should also remember that each of us has a responsibility to provide or not provide consent. Be honest, clear, and firm in conveying your boundaries. If they are not respected, let someone know and ask for help in addressing it.

We also need to be mindful of the power dynamics at play in relationships and sex. 年龄是怎样的?, 在校时间, 地位或声望, or our previous experiences affect the vulnerability of someone? 下周的博客, 由我们的机密辩护律师Celeste Hurley撰写, 我们会更详细地研究这个问题吗.

Please watch the video below for more information on the 沙巴体育第九条 办公室.

*克里斯汀·L·圭德罗. (2020) "In Praise of Consent: Why Talking About Sex on Christian Campuses Matters Differently Than We Think; A Review Essay," Growth: The Journal of the Association for Christians in Student Development: Vol. 19: No. 第十九条、第五条.